Notes on what feelings are and how to live with them, how to use them productively etc.
Acceptance and commitment
Alternative approach to handling first-emotional-response feelings that are not helpful. Sounds interesting and useful, in that people I know seem to get use out of it. Would I?
So how do we control our negative feelings? Easy answer:
Control is the problem, not the solution. Any rigid attempt to resist negative feelings won’t work in the Willy Wonka land of emotions. The only way to win the tug of war with feelings is to drop the rope. We must go from avoidance to acceptance.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: acceptance does not mean caving and giving in. You don’t have to like, agree with or obey the feelings. But you can’t ignore, avoid or fight them. Acceptance means allowing them to unfold without judgment, resistance or compliance.
One of the most effective ways of questioning the mind’s often overly dramatic interpretations is to talk about them with others. Getting feelings out into the open lends us a degree of objectivity, and allows others to show empathy and understanding.
In studies, men who expressed a lot of emotion that they didn’t label were found to have the highest levels of cytokines, proteins that over the long term cause inflammation. Female breast cancer survivors who explicitly label and express their emotions have better health and fewer medical visits after surgery.
Kaj Sotala, on Unlocking the Emotional Brain
Think Not Think is one of many interesting posts of the intense yellow lamp-spot blog which one should read.