Facebook messages pro-forma response

It doesn’t work but it’s worth trying


Dear Human,

I offer you my apologies for the bulk copy-paste message, and for the lateness of this reply.

You’ve recently sent me a message on Facebook. I’m so sorry I missed it, but I don’t check my Facebook messages.

If you wish to contact me, you can use my mobile number, which is on Signal, Telegram, Whatsapp, iMessage and SMS. or my email addresses, such as .

All my best, Dan

P.S. I’m sorry if my having a Facebook account gives the misleading impression that I actually use their messaging function, But I only have a Facebook account so that I can use it to promote events and sell stuff, not for general personal or business correspondence with real humans.

In my day job, I research the kind of data analysis that Facebook does , and it sucks the fun out of spending my precious free time knowing that I am being their guinea pig. If you want to read about that, you can do so here: https://danmackinlay.name/post/in_wild_air.html#ideas-the-multi-armed-bandit